Game of Thrones: Second Sons, Review

ICE ZOMBIES! DID YOU SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL SHUFFLING GLACIER OF DEATH?!… …Ahem. This was a superb show crafted on the finest of witty dialogue, carefully calculated performance and sterling production value. Ergo, it truly…hold on a second… ICE ZOMBIES! FROZEN, BLUE-EYED, CADAVERS COMING TO SWALLOW YOUR SOUL! EAT YOUR HEART OUT WALKING DEAD!…. …Okay. I promise that I have composed myself and gotten it out of my system. Yes, this was another excellent, if slightly restrained (for HBO) hour of television. Beyond that crystal-eyed beauty at the end, it very economically revolved around Tryion and Sansa’s nuptial bliss, the less happy times at Dragonstone and Dany’s continued politicking in the East. To prove that point, the only other major storyline that moved beside the above mentioned this week was the brief opening with Arya. The little scamp who stole audiences’ hearts last year when she ordered the assassination of about a dozen men, began this episode by trying to smash the Hound’s skull in. Adorable! Is it any wonder the Social Security istration announced last week that Arya is the most popular “new” rising name among baby girls in the U.S. for 2012? True story. Alas, our favorite little sword wielding sociopath-on-the-make maintains her season streak of being underused. In her brief appearance, it is established that she will not attempt to crush the Hound’s pretty face, because he would otherwise cut off her hands (wise choice). On the upside, he is playing the Good Samaritan by taking her to her mother and brother at the Twins. For a price. They are galloping on his horse along the Trident River on their way to Uncle Edmure’s wedding with a Frey girl. If they hurry they can make it in time for festivities! Edmure is getting married; Tyrion is getting married; Joffrey is getting married. They should start calling this season, “Three Weddings and a Human Sacrifice.”Game of Thrones. It is easy to forget how many storylines are moving week to week until you have an episode where they literally drop half the threads. However, it is arguably for the better when it allows for all the nice character moments that played out during the wedding and even at Dragonstone. Stannis was finally allowed to breathe and prove that he is worthy of all his fanboy love while Peter Dinklage and Jack Gleason once again brought the fun to the most dysfunctional and wacky relatives in Westeros. Who really, really doesn’t want to see Tyrion castrate this twirp? It would finally be some genital torture that even the U.N. approve. All the nice character moments and smooth plotting make up for a lack of major shocks. Given the last few weeks have seen the consecutive stunners of Jaime losing his hand, Dany sacking Astapor, Joffrey murdering Ros and Jaime saving the Maiden Fair from the Bear, this one felt a bit more muted. Tyrion and Sansa finally tied the knot, but the chances of this being a happy union seems as likely as Ned Stark returning from the grave. Yet, it was a great character episode for all involved and will have to satisfy our appetites for TWO WEEKS until Game of Thrones returns. Next up Edmure’s wedding. Hopefully, it will be a happier affair. ****Speaking of marital lovemaking, I also wanted to hand out last week’s Gold Star to Lord Stubbington for his terrific Rom-Com trailer for Tyrion and Sansa, which can be seen HERE. Well done! And yes, it does feature “Call Me Maybe.”**** Den of Geek Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars